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Dude, there are things happening in Yuma.
This is Charlie "Mustard Grape" Bananas, the best reporter in the business and I have been speaking to sources within the organization that are hinting toward the teams interest in building around young, unproven hipster QB Camden Recker. The verile and vivacious young signal caller otherwise known as Luscious Throwspirals or Dude Glove (depending on who you talk to in the locker room) has been practicing the martial art of self improvement this off season with renowned psycho therapist and mechanics guru Jumbo Clements. If that name sounds familiar, some readers out there may remember a guy with a golden arm who brought Yuma their first and only Championship trophy back in 2009, near the dawn of the league. Well, as it turns out, Clements is still out there. He is still around the game, and has been mentoring quarterbacks for years. He was the guy who got Randy Boone over his infamous drug problem and back on the field to finish his career with a bang in Utah. He tutored Albert Garner for much of his career, and this off season he is working with Recker. Asked what he sees in Recker, Clements was quoted as humming a frequency that seemed to indicate his favorable assessment of the young QB.
For more about Clements, consider the following: He eats nothing but kale and gummy bears. He hasn't spoken verbally to anyone in 4 years. He writes one word answers to interview questions on dry erase t-shirts he had specially made. He hums approval and disapproval. By many accounts, he otherwise acts like a completely sane and very predictable human being. When you think about it, that's kind of what you get with a guy named Jumbo. Big arm, big name, Jumbo personality.
I sat down with Clements this week at his home in Sedona for a brief Q and A over coffee (Jumbo is a straight Kopi Luak drinker) and this is what he had to say, er.. rather, what he had to write.
CB: Why did you decide to get in touch with the Aces staff about Cam Recker?
Clements: (He points to his eyes before writing this) Potential.
CB: You see potential?
Clements: *nodding and humming*
CB: I think some might not understand what kind of potential you see in the kid. Some would say, here is a guy who has started for 2 years and has not really been all that impressive.. What is it that you see that maybe others don't?
Clements: Organoleptics.
Thats right, organoleptics. Reader, if you are anything like me, you have no idea what Clements is talking about, but it turns out that this is the name of the program he developed and used to mentor Garner, Boone and now Recker. The word organoleptic is defined as "being, affecting, or relating to qualities (as taste, color, odor, and feel) of a substance (as a food or drug) that stimulate the sense organs". Which essentially means that Clements teachings revolve around using the 5 senses to enhance ones abilities.
What do Clements' teachings consist of?
Well according to his book 'Sense and Sense Ability' it is about inundating ones life with imagery, scents, tastes, textures and sounds revolving around one particular theme. This is said to increase focus by subconsciously tuning the brain to react to stimuli more organically and naturally than one might be able to by conventional means. This theoretically allows a person to develop a sixth sense of sorts, one of anticipation. It is believed that the added anticipation is what applies when we're talking about improving quarterbacks.
What Clements does at his retreat in Sedona is he puts players in 'the football house', a place he had specifically built for this program as part of Albert Garner's second contract with Yuma in 2025. The place is built out of materials that recall every aspect of the gridiron, from the turf carpet to the stadium style lighting to the surface of everything being covered in either jersey fabric, football leather or helmet shell plastic. It is quite a sight to behold. Players spend one week in the house, then one week meditating and doing drills, alternating for 3 months from Mid February to mid May. The time in the house is spent carrying a football at all times, and being forced to react to prompts that help monitor reaction times and memory. In addition to performing every day daily tasks, a tenant may be asked to recall specific football knowledge like play design or progressions while noise blares into the room or flashing lights go off, or they may be asked to perform a long list of small tasks in a specific order without the list being repeated. Over time and repetition, and with a great deal of perseverance, one acquires the ability to process and retain information differently. Clements says that this is the key to further success.
I had to know more. Why wasn't Donny Robinson a mentoring candidate? What about Maurice Hale?
CB: Jumbo, I have to ask, why Recker? Why not Robinson or Hale, guys who came in after Garner and seemed to both have the potential to be long term solutions for the Aces..
Clements: *he ponders for a minute, then writes* patience.
You see, it turns out the main requirement for a potential student in Clements' school of sorcery is that one must possess the proper discipline when it comes to patience in order to return the best results. Hale and Robinson apparently didn't have what it took. Recker apparently does. This is why the Aces have been making aggressive moves this off season. They are trying to give their young, Clements approved QB a supporting cast and buying into the results of organoleptics. I guess only time will tell if this was a good idea, but I would wager that there will at least be some kind of difference in Recker this season.
Have a cool night everyone! Bananas out.
This is Charlie "Mustard Grape" Bananas, the best reporter in the business and I have been speaking to sources within the organization that are hinting toward the teams interest in building around young, unproven hipster QB Camden Recker. The verile and vivacious young signal caller otherwise known as Luscious Throwspirals or Dude Glove (depending on who you talk to in the locker room) has been practicing the martial art of self improvement this off season with renowned psycho therapist and mechanics guru Jumbo Clements. If that name sounds familiar, some readers out there may remember a guy with a golden arm who brought Yuma their first and only Championship trophy back in 2009, near the dawn of the league. Well, as it turns out, Clements is still out there. He is still around the game, and has been mentoring quarterbacks for years. He was the guy who got Randy Boone over his infamous drug problem and back on the field to finish his career with a bang in Utah. He tutored Albert Garner for much of his career, and this off season he is working with Recker. Asked what he sees in Recker, Clements was quoted as humming a frequency that seemed to indicate his favorable assessment of the young QB.
For more about Clements, consider the following: He eats nothing but kale and gummy bears. He hasn't spoken verbally to anyone in 4 years. He writes one word answers to interview questions on dry erase t-shirts he had specially made. He hums approval and disapproval. By many accounts, he otherwise acts like a completely sane and very predictable human being. When you think about it, that's kind of what you get with a guy named Jumbo. Big arm, big name, Jumbo personality.
I sat down with Clements this week at his home in Sedona for a brief Q and A over coffee (Jumbo is a straight Kopi Luak drinker) and this is what he had to say, er.. rather, what he had to write.
CB: Why did you decide to get in touch with the Aces staff about Cam Recker?
Clements: (He points to his eyes before writing this) Potential.
CB: You see potential?
Clements: *nodding and humming*
CB: I think some might not understand what kind of potential you see in the kid. Some would say, here is a guy who has started for 2 years and has not really been all that impressive.. What is it that you see that maybe others don't?
Clements: Organoleptics.
Thats right, organoleptics. Reader, if you are anything like me, you have no idea what Clements is talking about, but it turns out that this is the name of the program he developed and used to mentor Garner, Boone and now Recker. The word organoleptic is defined as "being, affecting, or relating to qualities (as taste, color, odor, and feel) of a substance (as a food or drug) that stimulate the sense organs". Which essentially means that Clements teachings revolve around using the 5 senses to enhance ones abilities.
What do Clements' teachings consist of?
Well according to his book 'Sense and Sense Ability' it is about inundating ones life with imagery, scents, tastes, textures and sounds revolving around one particular theme. This is said to increase focus by subconsciously tuning the brain to react to stimuli more organically and naturally than one might be able to by conventional means. This theoretically allows a person to develop a sixth sense of sorts, one of anticipation. It is believed that the added anticipation is what applies when we're talking about improving quarterbacks.
What Clements does at his retreat in Sedona is he puts players in 'the football house', a place he had specifically built for this program as part of Albert Garner's second contract with Yuma in 2025. The place is built out of materials that recall every aspect of the gridiron, from the turf carpet to the stadium style lighting to the surface of everything being covered in either jersey fabric, football leather or helmet shell plastic. It is quite a sight to behold. Players spend one week in the house, then one week meditating and doing drills, alternating for 3 months from Mid February to mid May. The time in the house is spent carrying a football at all times, and being forced to react to prompts that help monitor reaction times and memory. In addition to performing every day daily tasks, a tenant may be asked to recall specific football knowledge like play design or progressions while noise blares into the room or flashing lights go off, or they may be asked to perform a long list of small tasks in a specific order without the list being repeated. Over time and repetition, and with a great deal of perseverance, one acquires the ability to process and retain information differently. Clements says that this is the key to further success.
I had to know more. Why wasn't Donny Robinson a mentoring candidate? What about Maurice Hale?
CB: Jumbo, I have to ask, why Recker? Why not Robinson or Hale, guys who came in after Garner and seemed to both have the potential to be long term solutions for the Aces..
Clements: *he ponders for a minute, then writes* patience.
You see, it turns out the main requirement for a potential student in Clements' school of sorcery is that one must possess the proper discipline when it comes to patience in order to return the best results. Hale and Robinson apparently didn't have what it took. Recker apparently does. This is why the Aces have been making aggressive moves this off season. They are trying to give their young, Clements approved QB a supporting cast and buying into the results of organoleptics. I guess only time will tell if this was a good idea, but I would wager that there will at least be some kind of difference in Recker this season.
Have a cool night everyone! Bananas out.
That was awesome.
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