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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the league,
Not a GM was posting much to my intrigue.
Virginia's stockings were hung by his chimney with care,
And you don't need to ask...his championship banner was there.
Philly was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of trades danced in his head.
Geoff Scott was shopping for a new house with the wife,
When he thought to himself, 'I hate my life.'
Pawtuckett was enjoying his new uniform and cap,
while the Free Agents were settling down for a long winters nap.
Their agents were toiling and going over the numbers,
Amazed by how much people get paid to swing lumber.
When out in Washington's stadium there arose such a clatter,
That the Bats GM put down his pipe to see what was the matter.
Away to the widow he flew like a flash,
He knocked over the Cheetos's and tripped on some trash.
He saw a young man with white lines on a dish,
And knew in a moment it must be the commish!
He stumbled, he fumbled, he danced on first base.
The guy was acting damn crazy and looked out of the place.
Soon the cops came and started to drag him home,
To a big house with a white shiny dome.
Before he left he turned and he said,
"A toast to the champions...let us break bread."
"Los Lunas, and Maine, and Maine again,
Those good ol' boys from Carolina...and hey...where's my gin?!
The Wildcats, the Bats, the Guides twice more,
They won four times in eight seasons? My what a bore."
"Onto the Playboys, the Kodiaks, and once again the Bats,
God I love that GM, unless he holds back.
He knows what I'm talking about, don't let him play you too.
It's "puff and it's pass"...not "puff till it's gone"...that's not very cool."
"Now where was I" he shouted as they dragged him up the hill.
"Ah yes '89...man that gives me a chill.
Because once again it's Maine with two more in a row,
Were they really that good or did the rest of you blow?"
With his last line he gave such a chuckle,
That his pants fell to the snow because he popped out of his buckle.
He face got cold and he fell to his knees,
"It's time to finish this up" he shouted, "before my balls freeze."
"On to the latest, and greatest of them all,
The world champion Colonials who had quite a Fall.
With 119 wins they beat the previous mark,
They also gobbled up awards like a seal for a shark."
"You like that last reference I thought of it myself,
I've been reading some books I found on a shelf.
My dad buys them for me and I like them a lot,
They have pictures and little words...and stories about Spot."
As the men pushed him into the house by the snow covered shore,
He escaped once again but they grabbed him once more.
I then heard him exclaim, as he went out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
Not a GM was posting much to my intrigue.
Virginia's stockings were hung by his chimney with care,
And you don't need to ask...his championship banner was there.
Philly was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of trades danced in his head.
Geoff Scott was shopping for a new house with the wife,
When he thought to himself, 'I hate my life.'
Pawtuckett was enjoying his new uniform and cap,
while the Free Agents were settling down for a long winters nap.
Their agents were toiling and going over the numbers,
Amazed by how much people get paid to swing lumber.
When out in Washington's stadium there arose such a clatter,
That the Bats GM put down his pipe to see what was the matter.
Away to the widow he flew like a flash,
He knocked over the Cheetos's and tripped on some trash.
He saw a young man with white lines on a dish,
And knew in a moment it must be the commish!
He stumbled, he fumbled, he danced on first base.
The guy was acting damn crazy and looked out of the place.
Soon the cops came and started to drag him home,
To a big house with a white shiny dome.
Before he left he turned and he said,
"A toast to the champions...let us break bread."
"Los Lunas, and Maine, and Maine again,
Those good ol' boys from Carolina...and hey...where's my gin?!
The Wildcats, the Bats, the Guides twice more,
They won four times in eight seasons? My what a bore."
"Onto the Playboys, the Kodiaks, and once again the Bats,
God I love that GM, unless he holds back.
He knows what I'm talking about, don't let him play you too.
It's "puff and it's pass"...not "puff till it's gone"...that's not very cool."
"Now where was I" he shouted as they dragged him up the hill.
"Ah yes '89...man that gives me a chill.
Because once again it's Maine with two more in a row,
Were they really that good or did the rest of you blow?"
With his last line he gave such a chuckle,
That his pants fell to the snow because he popped out of his buckle.
He face got cold and he fell to his knees,
"It's time to finish this up" he shouted, "before my balls freeze."
"On to the latest, and greatest of them all,
The world champion Colonials who had quite a Fall.
With 119 wins they beat the previous mark,
They also gobbled up awards like a seal for a shark."
"You like that last reference I thought of it myself,
I've been reading some books I found on a shelf.
My dad buys them for me and I like them a lot,
They have pictures and little words...and stories about Spot."
As the men pushed him into the house by the snow covered shore,
He escaped once again but they grabbed him once more.
I then heard him exclaim, as he went out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
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