1992 Domestic League All-Star Team

[Z]

I was asked to announce this year's squad, presumably because it will be good practice for when I pick the team next year. Like the bumbling idiots selecting the team for the Import League, our managers chose to ensure that every team was represented. This decision resulted in the notable snubbing of the second-best pitcher in the league, Pete Fitzgerald of the soon-to-be-champion Pittsburgh Millers, and it will not go unnoticed. The clown will pay.

In just a few short days, the Domestic League's best will destroy a team of scrubs assembled by the Import League. This public slaughter will take place at the cesspool known as Yankee Field at Potomac Cove. For some unknown reason, this glorious destruction of the Import League will be known as the 1992 Brewers League All-Star Game. After league-wide voting and internal discussions between the Domestic League Managers - Jack Funclown of the Second-Best-Team-in-the-Ale Pawtucket Patriots and Dave Roberts of the Sin City Gamblers of the Lager's basement - I, the best general manager in the league, am proud to announce the 28 Players that will represent the Domestic League in the July 7th match-up.

The Offense

Starters




Von Haynes
Catcher
Sin City Gamblers
.313/.385/.433

Despite the fact that he's playing much worse this year than he did in a stellar 1991 campaign in which he led the league in hit-by-pitches, Haynes makes his first All-Star team at the age of 28. The self-described "Heart of Sin City," Haynes surprised fans and pundits alike by leading the Gamblers to fourth place in the Lager division at the All-Star Break.



Carmem Chamissa
First Baseman
Pawtucket Patriots
.323/.404/.570

Chamissa makes his second (consecutive) All-Star team.




Geoff Scott
Second Baseman
Syracuse Slammers
.331/.429/.596

Scott enjoys his fifth All-Star Game selection, and his first in the Domestic League. He's leading the league in OPS, runs created, and almost every other hitting statistic that matters, which is kind of ridiculous for a second baseman.



Victor Gonzalez
Third Baseman
Pawtucket Patriots
.322/.418/.565

This is Gonzalez's third All-Star selection.



Dani Trujillo
Shortstop
Pittsburgh Millers
.284/.330/.370

Trujillo represents the DL's best team with his first All-Star selection. He combines timely hitting, top speed, and elite fielding, and is well-deserving of this glorious (and unanimous) selection.



Finley Kinsey
"Outfielder"
Hyundai Dinos
.315/.392/.609

Often described as "1920 Babe Ruth with the bat, and 1978 Babe Ruth with the glove," Kinsey posts his second All-Star selection.



Brad Carter
Outfielder
Syracuse Slammers
.349/.438/.462

Carter represents Syracuse with his first All-Star selection. Slammers fans will be pleased to hear that Carter will in fact bring his daily ritual of sitting in a lawn chair in center field to the All-Star game.



Pancho Perez
Outfielder
Sin City Gamblers
.285/.378/.559

Perez fills out the DL lineup with his third All-Star selection, which is well-deserved considering how he's helped anchor a formidable Sin City lineup that ranks 11th in the DL in runs scored.

The Bench AKA Guys-Who-Are-Still-Better-Than-Anyone-On-The-IL-Team

Anibal Calderon (C - Mississippi Storm) - 2nd All-Star Game
Harry Keppel (1B - Hyundai Dinos) - 9th All-Star Game
Chuck Durham (2B - Hartford Whalers) - 1st All-Star Game
Hector Carbajal (3B - Syracuse Slammers) - 3rd All-Star Game
Rex Knight (OF - Indianapolis Clowns) - 5th All-Star Game
Everardo Gremades (OF - Pittsburgh Millers) - 12th All-Star Game
Ivan Garcia (OF - Indianapolis Clowns) - 3rd All-Star Game

The Pitchers

The Best



Raul Carrillo
Pitcher
Pittsburgh Millers
9-1 - 2.56 ERA - 121 K

The reigning DL Pale Ale Pitcher, Carrillo celebrates his 6th All-Star selection. He is a god among men.

The Rest
Joe Aurillo (SP - Pawtucket Patriots) - 6th All-Star Game
Don Leonard (SP - Mississippi Storm) - 3rd All-Star Game
J.J. Black (RP - Los Lunas Javelinas) - 2nd All-Star Game
Dae-hee Yi (RP - Dallas Snappers) - 2nd All-Star Game
Doug Ellis (RP - Hyundai Dinos) - 1st All-Star Game
Manny Mendez (SP - Indianapolis Clowns) - 3rd All-Star Game
Hector Quintero (RP - Dallas Snappers) - 1st All-Star Game
Alonzo Gugierrez (SP - Pawtucket Patriots) - 4th All-Star Game
Tino Surez (SP - Maine Guides) - 5th All-Star Game
Donnie Greene (SP - Denver Bulls) - 1st All-Star Game
Clarence Ortiz (RP - Indianapolis Clowns) - 1st All-Star Game
Russ McEvoy (SP - Mississippi Storm) - 5th All-Star Game

Better-Than-The-Rest-Despite-Not-Being-On-The-Team
Pete Fitzgerald (SP - Pittsburgh Millers)

[funclown]

Yes Z, we did think every team should be represented!! As a result he was screwed.

BTW- Thanks for the write-up! Great job for real! Next year I may even add an extra guy from the Miller's after Pawtucket repeats!

[Lintyfresh85]

Good stuff on Kinsey being listed as "Outfielder" and only doing a profile on Carrillo.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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Very comedicly humorous.<o:p></o:p>

[Jake]

That might be the best post in the history of the BLB. Funny shit, Z.

[Dave]

Thanks Z. I generally don't like the idea of giving every team a representative and I applaud the managers who admitted in the All Star Voting thread that their teams didn't deserve any participants in this year's game, but I would have felt guilty leaving teams without a rep after my awful team landed two players in this year's game.

So congratulations, Maine and Denver. Now you have a reason to watch the All Star Game.

[Ryan]

Fine job Z. Shame on Shrek and Donkey for not doing this themselves.

[funclown]

Thanks Z. I generally don't like the idea of giving every team a representative and I applaud the managers who admitted in the All Star Voting thread that their teams didn't deserve any participants in this year's game, but I would have felt guilty leaving teams without a rep after my awful team landed two players in this year's game.

So congratulations, Maine and Denver. Now you have a reason to watch the All Star Game.

I think we did good Skerik in the chosing. No matter what someone deserving will always be left out.

[Carlos]

Ok Z, great job. I take it back. You're no longer just funny in bed with Clay's wife. You can actually say funny things too.

A few things I noted:

"Outfielder" noted already but worth mentioning again.

All Pawtucket starters being glossed over while others got a nice breakdown.

Claiming Pittsburgh is the best team.

Gotta say, Z, great comedy there.

Second thing: I'm grateful. One for Skerik acknowledging my acknowledgment, and two for having a representative.

Great job on the team guys.


Sent from my mobile device.

[Jistic]

Bravo! Especially like the fact that there is no commentary for Pawtucket

[rubisco43]

Keppel got robbed

[Z]

Keppel got robbed

Of what? He's on the roster.

[Spectre]

Excellent job making the team guys. McEvoy is having a silently phenomenal year. Calderon is just doing his thing as well. Don Leonard isn't winning games but is throwing as well as he ever has.

I'm not shocked Trujillo was unanimous. The DL shortstops are probably the worst group of hitters I've seen at a position in the history of the league. Trujillo was heads and shoulders above those clowns. Really an awful position for this league right now.

[umd]

Chuck. Durham. Hell yeah. My hero.

[funclown]

Chuck. Durham. Hell yeah. My hero.

Well deserved roster spot

[Clay]

Chuck. Durham. Hell yeah. My hero.

One of my favorite young players. Shame he got hurt and is going to miss the game.