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1994 Pawtucket Preview (Part A Offense)
“Carmen, your mother is a whore who sticks candle displays up her butt”- Disgruntled Pawtucket fan “Nancy”, Game 6 1993 Divsional Playoffs round.
Wasn't long ago the Pawtucket fan base had no real demand of its team. Fast forward 3 years later and locals like Nancy 25, single mother of 4 says it all. Needless to say, 1991 may have raised unrealistic expectations for a team that has looked tight since game 7 of the 1991 Brewmaster.
Management has basically kept the same core and sprinkled in what has been described by Jack “The finger painter” Funclown as “Leaders”. The team overall still young with most locked up long term. Financially, this team will not having any salary cap issues anytime soon (Least til 97).
Enough talk. Lets start with the offense. Here is the projected lineup for 1994 with the LOCAL nicknames included:
C Jeremiah “Meat sniffer” Alexander - More of a stop gap, but played a nice 93 season. Replacing longtime Hector. Hector started showing wear and tear past few seasons and was no longer considered a “core” player. Jeremiah will be working 7 or 8 in the order.
DH/ 1B Carmem “Mom's bitch” Chamissa – Three straight 40+hr seasons been overshadowed by recent failures in the port season. Again well protected by other hitters in the lineup.
SS Raúl “The 5.5” incher” Zamora- Excellent n 2 hitter who couldn't find his stroke in time for the playoffs. Experimental penis enlargement surgery in the offseason might have improved Zamora's eye sight. Coaches will see how this plays out. Expecting a season close to 1992.
2B Toby “We don't get it” Rogers- expected to reclaim the bench once Deron is ready to come up from AAA. Bats 9 and for what its worth holds his own. Helps to have monsters batting in front of you.
1B Harry 'Missing Link' Keppel - Harry hasn't seen the postseason in awhile. We think having a chance this late in his career might revive the missing link. No longer expected to carry a team, Harry will be batting anywhere from 3-6 depending on the pitching matchups.
3B Víctor 'Slider' González – Hard to believe this kid has been playing BLB majors level since 19!!! Another solid season, but a late season injury kept him out of the playoffs. Expected to bat 3,4,5 in the order. Currently dating Carmen's mom.
CF Murdoch “The tooth puller” Turcotte- Solid player who just fits the team concept. Bats leadoff and draws a lot of walks. Also a surprising 17hrs in 1993. Coaches trying cut down on his K's in 94.
RF Samuel “I hate lefites” Helmrich- Finally found his groove last season hitting after supplanting Hector in the middle of the order getting most of his RBI's & HR's final 2 months while cutting down on his K and taking more walks. His best years are ahead of him. Bats 4 or 6.
LF Darryl ”Cat fondler” Calhoun & Joe “Smoking defect” Acuna – Calhoun had a nice first season while Acuna rejoins his beloved ballclub. For now this is determined by pitching matchups.
The Bench (Not worthy of nicknames yet) Some of these players will be bouncing in and out of AAA depending on injuries, matchups, ect.
C- Chet Reed
1B- Frank Randcourt
3B- Zach Ross (Major league Debut)
IF/OF- Hugh Newman
OF- Sekien Suitani
Waiting for the call in the farm?, ummmm nobody really. Not really needed at this time.
2B Deron Robinson - had a great postseason. We just want to brush up his stroke for a month or so until he joins the big show again.
Overall, its a very difficult lineup to pitch against. Very balance. Defense also is top notch here. Lets just hope they don't implode assuming another postseason looms on the horizon (Never a sure thing
)Next- Part B (Pitching, closing thoughts)
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